One Liners

Quotes have always grabbed my attention. Particularly the funny one liner. I enjoy reading them .Here I have mentioned some of the quotes which I liked the most. Many of them might be clichés but worth recollecting them. Without shame I have copied (compiled) these funny quotes from various website I have came across and status messages my friends.

1. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.--Albert Einstein
2. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
3. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
4. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.--Groucho Marx
5. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -- Albert Einstein
6. Not all women are annoying ... some are dead
7. Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.
8. KEEP SMILING!!! Its the 2nd best thing u can do with your LIPS
9. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
10. Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
11. My friend was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
12. Arranged Marriage is like jumping into the well with eyes closed, Love Marriage is doing the same with eyes open
13. God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
14. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. ---Benjamin Franklin
15. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.-Albert Einstein
16. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place
17. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -- Albert Einstein
18. Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!